209? Really?

I am a hoarder. I hoard.

I just looked at my paycheck. I have 209 hours of vacation time accrued. 209. There is something seriously wrong with that. Granted I have been at my job for 5 years and they give me three weeks of vacation a year. But, honestly, I have not taken a week long vacation in 8 years. It was my honeymoon. I’m now divorced, which is probably partly caused by never taking vacation time.

Yes, folks 2001. When I came to this realization I was none too pleased. I know how it happened. Got married. Husband changed careers. Husband hated taking time off because he get paid out for time he doesn’t take. I had a kid. I changed jobs. I got divorced. I had no one to vacation with. Do you feel sad for me? Don’t. It’s my fault. I could have taken time off. I culd have just taken a whole week each summer and not even gone anywhere. Just stayed home and played with my kid, but I didn’t.

I am not a model to be followed, people. I will have you know, though, that I have changed my ways! I realized that life is too short. Add to that the fact that I met a very adorable man last year and now have an adult traveling companion! Score!

In 9 short days, I will be on the road. Heading to Napa. We’re taking the long way and driving all the way up the coast of California. I have always wanted to do that. I simply cannot wait.

If you’re hoarding your vacation time, stop it. I command you. If you have more than two weeks stored up pick a damn date on the calendar and take off. Who cares if you go anywhere. Stay at home in your pajamas all day. Doesn’t matter. Work will survivie without you. They can wait. Your life can’t.

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Tags: Tip of the Week

Tip of the Week: Choose your battles

I’m an Italian woman. I’m an Italian woman from New York who was raised by other Italians from New York. Choosing battles is not an inherent ability I’ve been graced with. Fight or flight? I ain’t movin’. Bring it. Given any opportunity, I was going to show my teeth and whoever was on the receiving end was most likely going to be wandering the word without a head until one magically grew back in its place.

This, those amusing to some, was not always a good thing. I never realized that I had earned myself the image of being hot headed and difficult. Now, I will say that mild-tempered is never going to be a word that is used to describe me. I could do 700 hours mind healing yoga and still want give someone who pissed me off a good solid ass reaming. The difference is that now I actually THINK before I do it.

I know! Thinking before speaking! Who the hell would have thought about that? It’s novel! Dare I say? Genius. And really really hard to do. I have to admit, scaring people is actually kind of fun for me. Many moons ago in a galaxy far far away, I was married. My ex-husband was frequently on the receiving end of a good solid ass reaming. Don’t judge. Most of the time he was totally asking for it. He used to try to handle a situation about which I was pissed off. It usually looked like this:

“Hi Mr. Bank of America Employee. We’re having an issue with our account and I need you to fix it. You see that nice lady over there? (Camera pans over to me waving and smiling sweetly.) That’s my wife. If you can’t help me, she’ll come over here. And you don’t want that. Trust me.”

So how did I figure out how to choose battles wisely? You ready? I stopped caring. I’m not kidding. Somewhere during the last year I ran out of give a shit. I just petered out. this does not mean that I slack off or dismiss things that are important. But, my fuse somehow got a lot longer.

I think part of it is that I am dating the most laid back man in the world. He is horrifically impatient but generally there is not a lot that bothers him. Most things just kind of roll right off his back. I think that generally makes him a happier person.

So I’ve started to take inventory of things that really matter.  Some people don’t choose their words carefully and say stupid shit. That’s really not my problem. Some people are too selfish to realize there are other people in this world. Oh well. Their loss. Life is to short to get pissy about every little thing. Save that for the big things. When someone you love is horrifically wronged. When someone’s actions could affect your livelihood. At that point, go deep and take them down. Hard.

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Tags: Being bitchy, Tip of the Week

Tip of the Week: Get a Damn Hobby Already!

I have always equated generally pissy people with having too much time on their hands. Really, if you are taking the time to do stupid things like get all worked up over your neighbor’s kid’s bike in the front yard for two days, it appears to me that you might need to get a freakin’ hobby. I cannot be alone in this. I am certain that I could start a non-profit organization geared solely toward finding these people something better to do with their time.

I’m not all judgment here. I knit so that I don’t kill people. I really should keep a project in my desk at work for such occasions as I run into aforementioned pissy people. You know what they say about the Devil’s work and idle hands? Yeah, I need to keep myself well occupied. Read more…

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Tags: Tip of the Week

Tip of the Week: Throw the scale out the window

I have driven myself crazy for the last week. No, I’m not kidding. I have been a total basket case. I have gained about 5 pounds. Insert “GASP” here. Five whole pounds. Oh. My. God. Life will end right now! Okay, not really.

It’s five pounds. Five. The bad thing is that I have a very small frame and gain all my weight in the midsection so five pounds is a whole dress size for me. But, there are a few things contributing to this. One is obvious and I won’t get into it but, ladies, you feel me. I know you do.

Last night, Brent and I went out to dinner with some friends and for the first time in a long time I did the ceremonial I’ve-gained-five-pounds-trying-on-of-739-outfits. Brent is a patient and sweet man. I would have thrown a large sack over my head and beat me. Read more…

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Tags: Tip of the Week