Break the wrist, walk away. Break the wrist, walk away.

This week is turning out to be a real crap fest. Epically crappy. This is the kind of week that makes us want to crawl into whatever space it is that we retreat to and go into what I call turtle mode. “No one here! Just this hard shell! Gave at the office! Thanks! No hablo!”

Of course, the turtle shell is a total cop out. I just need a minute to breathe. I’ve learned to figure that much out. We have a tendency to over complicate being happy. We try to hard. I have a girlfriend and it is nearly painful to watch her continually search and search. Sadly, she keeps looking in all the wrong places and we just have to wait it out until she sees it.

We know how to be happy. We know what to do when the enormo crap fest is bestowed upon us by someone (or a group of someones) who have no concern about dropping that skippy little load on us. The problem is that we forget. Like we forget where we put our cars keys or why walked in a room. It’s that easy. “What did I need to get at the store” is no more complicated than “How the hell do a get stop from getting in full on funk mode?”

We all have little things that can snap up back to reality. I call it the “Your Life Does Not Suck List.” No, really. This should be your tool kit. Use it like that trusty friend that you can call and say, “Come over. My day sucked. Bring vodka.” And boom! There they are. Awesome.

Get started on yours. Write down every thing that snaps you back. List things you can go to quickly and get a fix of that quick sigh and exhale of breathe that makes you feel everything is juuuuuust fine. What can you do for yourself that brings the scales back into balance?

For me, all it might take is to spend 30 minutes with a play list that I made for my iPod that is about 10 songs that define my life. You know, because we forget what our lives are about. I can just sit on my couch with nothing else going on and listen. Huge advocate of giving yourself 30 minutes. Every song starts with me saying some kind of “Ohhhhh.” Really, like I hadn’t heard the song in years.

Sometimes I have to keep goingdown the line. I may need to allow myself time to  sit on the patio with a book. I may need to go mill around a nursery checking out plants and flowers and making some plans for the next great backyard adventure.

What works for you? What’s on your list?

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I must tell you how I love some people.

Did I ever tell you you’re my hero? And everything I wish I could be?

I am doing some updating and need to add to my blogroll as I have found way too many cool blogs out there. I’m a viral reader. Sounds nasty, huh? It’s not curable. I just read one blog and click on another link and read that blog then click on another link. Honestly, I have no idea how I found most of these people, but I am damn glad they did. I do so love them. In keeping with my bossy nature, you must love them too. No, really. If you don’t, I’ll show up at your house. I can do that. I’m resourceful. I may even bring them with me. I can do that. I’m also very persuasive. Get to loving these people: Read more…

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Tip of the Week: Be authentically who you are, you big dork.

I’m a dork. A big one. We’re talking HUGE. I am not ashamed of this. I have learned a fine art from my mothers about not giving a rat’s. My dad on the other hand has been trying to convince me for a long time that a little bit of conformity wouldn’t hurt. I have, in turn, tried to convince him that I like myself just fine they way I am.

I am a bit Pollyanna sometimes. I’m an idealist. What this means for me is that I am a horrible judge of character. Well, not in a I-give-my-money-to-guys-in-”Nigeria” kind of way but I have many times in my life thought someone was just a fine person only to find out they’re mean/manipulative/compulsively lying/a felon. Read more…

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I missed BlogHer. There is a void in my heart.

I have to admit, my jealousy levels are off the freakin’ chart as I have read the 2,592 blog posts this week about how everyone had the time of their lives at BlogHer. (BTW – The post over at Bantering Blonde is HILARIOUS as they feed pizza to a homeless diabetic that does not seem to need the pizza, really.) I feel as though I missed my senior prom because I took a really killer nap.

And I could so use a fun weekend with some good chicks, especially if the main focus of the weekend is on writing. That just seems serendipitous! I have only gone to one writing conference in my whole life and it was a far cry from BlogHer. It was hosted by the Virginia Piper Writing Center at Arizona State University. I was all psyched because I could hang out on a college campus and be all writer chick and have fabulous conversations with other amazingly intriguing people who share my love of writing. Umm, yeah, not so much. I did not fit in at all. Read more…

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Tags: Being bitchy

Getting my (increasingly larger) ass moving.

So I took a vacation in the beginning of June to Mexico. It was delightful. I worked for 5 months to be bathing suite ready. I then proceeded to eat and drink my weight in guacamole, carne asada and beer. Nice. But, hell man, it was a good time. Only I’m still acting like I’m on vacation…

I had recently sung the praises of reducing our level of caring about what the scale says. However, my clothes are tell me what the scale would otherwise say. I am starting to feel like a major slack ass. I have not moved since June. Here’s the problem though: I am horrifically lazy. I like sitting on my ass, knitting and watching the Fine Living Network. All at the same time and preferably with a glass of wine in front of me. Do you see how this may become a problem?

I also waffle between wanting to look better (really, we’re talking 5 to 10 pounds here people) and really loving my lazy lifestyle. Plus, I get board really easily. I want exercise for lazy people. Here’s my fool-proof plan: Read more…

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Tags: My Bright Ideas

Tip of the Week: Get a Damn Hobby Already!

I have always equated generally pissy people with having too much time on their hands. Really, if you are taking the time to do stupid things like get all worked up over your neighbor’s kid’s bike in the front yard for two days, it appears to me that you might need to get a freakin’ hobby. I cannot be alone in this. I am certain that I could start a non-profit organization geared solely toward finding these people something better to do with their time.

I’m not all judgment here. I knit so that I don’t kill people. I really should keep a project in my desk at work for such occasions as I run into aforementioned pissy people. You know what they say about the Devil’s work and idle hands? Yeah, I need to keep myself well occupied. Read more…

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Tags: Tip of the Week

Everything as it should be.

I must say that I am feeling delightful this morning. I took yesterday off for the sake of taking the day off. I just felt like spending time with my daughter. She is five so that can either turn out very good or very bad. Yesterday was good.

Did stayed in bed until 11:30 or so watching movies. Awesome. She likes to hang out in mommy’s big bed. After an unusual amount of laziness, we spend a few hours doing all our grocery shopping and back to school shopping. I swear, I was more excited about it that she was! I was all stoked. “Poodle, crayons are like $.27! Let’s load up!” It’s nearly criminal house many crayons are now housed here.

She ran around the house posing with her new Hannah Montana backpack, filled to the gills. Killing me. We ended the day with Brent and me taking her to the Starry Safari at the zoo. Once again, I may have been the most excited of the bunch. “Look Poodle! They’re feeding zebras!” followed by me dragging her and insisting she run off with me to the zebras. She was down with it. Read more…

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Tags: Poodle

The Jones’s are probably bankrupt.

Do you know how many people state that a major source of their depression is their financial standing? Yeah, neither do I. But, I would think it would be pretty high. Now I will say in full disclosure that I have my fair share of credit card debt. Okay, I probably have enough for both of us. It’s certainly not adding to my happiness and the sad thing is I have NO IDEA how I got that debt. I have nothing to show for it.

The amount of money that people will spend in search of prestige and happiness kills me. I ran across a blog the other day and stared at the screen for about 10 minutes in sheer astonishment and amusement. It’s a blog by two $40K-aires and their dreams of “livin’ large!” They’re peaches these two. They want to eliminate their debt but can’t cut back spending because they never know when they may want to spend $1000 on clothes and crap. Oh, and they’re guys. They’re plans for earning additional income include, wait for it…. playing blackjack at the casino! Did you think I would keep you hanging by not letting you laugh at them. You don’t know me that well, do you? Click here!

A fast track to being absolutely miserable is keeping up with the Jones’s. The Jones’s are probably bankrupt. Try to keep up with them and you’ll be bankrupt too. I’m not saying this because I’m some financial genius. I am not more a financial planner that Seigfried and Roy are “just friends.” Read more…

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It’s okay to… blame the bad in your life on random shit.

My wa is jacked up. You know, your wa. Your chi. Your balance. Your ying done left your yang. I have been feeling totally out of sorts the last few days. Just on the verge, if not in the middle of, a funk. I had to get down to business and deconstruct the funk.

I have been trying everything to get to the root of the funk and kick it’s skippy little ass out of here. By now, I am so familiar with this process it’s like going down a Funk Diagnostic checklist:

Is boyfriend the root of the funk? Nope. He’s just caught the funk too. I, of course, went all girl on him and tried to get him to talk about the funk. The consisted of me blabbering on and Brent telling me 19 times, “Don’t worry about it.”

Is work the root of the funk? Nah. It’s not like I’m insanely busy and working 60 hours a week. I just have serious senioritis. Remember that feeling around April of your senior year in high school. Oh, have I found that again. Read more…

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Tags: It's okay to...