Tip of the Week: Choose your battles

I’m an Italian woman. I’m an Italian woman from New York who was raised by other Italians from New York. Choosing battles is not an inherent ability I’ve been graced with. Fight or flight? I ain’t movin’. Bring it. Given any opportunity, I was going to show my teeth and whoever was on the receiving end was most likely going to be wandering the word without a head until one magically grew back in its place.

This, those amusing to some, was not always a good thing. I never realized that I had earned myself the image of being hot headed and difficult. Now, I will say that mild-tempered is never going to be a word that is used to describe me. I could do 700 hours mind healing yoga and still want give someone who pissed me off a good solid ass reaming. The difference is that now I actually THINK before I do it.

I know! Thinking before speaking! Who the hell would have thought about that? It’s novel! Dare I say? Genius. And really really hard to do. I have to admit, scaring people is actually kind of fun for me. Many moons ago in a galaxy far far away, I was married. My ex-husband was frequently on the receiving end of a good solid ass reaming. Don’t judge. Most of the time he was totally asking for it. He used to try to handle a situation about which I was pissed off. It usually looked like this:

“Hi Mr. Bank of America Employee. We’re having an issue with our account and I need you to fix it. You see that nice lady over there? (Camera pans over to me waving and smiling sweetly.) That’s my wife. If you can’t help me, she’ll come over here. And you don’t want that. Trust me.”

So how did I figure out how to choose battles wisely? You ready? I stopped caring. I’m not kidding. Somewhere during the last year I ran out of give a shit. I just petered out. this does not mean that I slack off or dismiss things that are important. But, my fuse somehow got a lot longer.

I think part of it is that I am dating the most laid back man in the world. He is horrifically impatient but generally there is not a lot that bothers him. Most things just kind of roll right off his back. I think that generally makes him a happier person.

So I’ve started to take inventory of things that really matter.  Some people don’t choose their words carefully and say stupid shit. That’s really not my problem. Some people are too selfish to realize there are other people in this world. Oh well. Their loss. Life is to short to get pissy about every little thing. Save that for the big things. When someone you love is horrifically wronged. When someone’s actions could affect your livelihood. At that point, go deep and take them down. Hard.

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Tags: Being bitchy, Tip of the Week