7492 comments? Really?

So I am being horribly spammed right now and can’t even figure out how to stop it. Literally, I have 7492 comments to mark as spam or delete. Not liking the word press right now…

I have been away for quite some time. I am working ona total life reinvention. It’s going to be a long process and a lot of work. I am going non-stop from 5:15 to 10:15 everyday. The good thing is that the work I’m doing is not only going to pay off in the end for me but is going not that bad to do.

Essentially, I am starting my own business next year. I have come to the overwhelming realization that the corporate 8 to 5 culture is not for me. I need to find my own path and finally do what I really WANT to do. So, now starts the overhaul to get there. I want to go “live” on January 1st, and have a lot of work to get there. I am trying to move my life into a place where my work steps from and is steeped in creativity, so I’m doing a lot of soul searching and internal work on myself to figure out how to do that and abnadon fears.

We live so closely in a world that we create out of our fears of doing waht we really want because it just doesn’t seem feasible. We live with the safety net and like to stay comfortable. I am going to be very far outside of my comfort zone for a while and I must say that I’m really quite excited about the idea.

I’m doing a lot of reading and journaling, which has taken me away from this blog. But I have missed it as it’s been one of my joys for a long time. So hopefully this post means that my road has led back to a familiar spot but that this new road meets the old and the come together beautifully.

Tweet This Post

So Vanessa, what’s with the yoga?

I know, I have long railed against the yoga. I have not so much mocked it as my ability to do it, especially publically. Me doing yoga in public must be amusing for others by totally mortifying for me. So my am I doing it? Easy: I need to chill the hell out.

After taking my first vacation in 8 years, I gained a little perspective. First, the fact that I had taken my last week long vacation for a honeymoon for a marriage I haven’t been in for almost three years is more than sad. It’s pathetic. It’s even more pathetic when my company generously gives me three weeks of vacation a year. It’s not like the hours are hard to come by. There is jyst no excuse for taking yourself that seriously.

That is exactly what I have been doing and for years and years. I take myself way too seriously. I get all upptiy about crap I really should just roll off my back. I let my blood pressure soar. I stress eat. I bark at people. I get snippy. I don’t like it.

So I found a few moments of peace and serenity last week either sitting by the Napa River, overlooking wide and far seas of grapevines, sipping red wine in the afternoon or yummy organic decaf in the morning. I realized that life is moving right by me and very quickly and I have no desire to not live the life that I want to live.

So, I’m chilling the hell out. I’m doing yoga. I am reading Hip Tranquil Chick believing this time that I can actually be hip and tranquil all at the same time. And you know what? I feel hip and tranquil all at the same time. The yoga is actually going pretty damn good though I’m only on day four. But, I have started waking up at 5:30 in the morning so I can get in a good solid 20 minutes (hey, you have to start somewhere) before my daughter gets up. I’m really not that bad at it when you remove all the other people and distractions from the idea of practicing in front of people. However, trying to do triangle pose with three very affectionate dogs does pose a slight problem.

In the next few days and weeks, you’ll be hearing a lot about me trying to shift my entire thought process. We’re talking a lot of philosophy overhaul. Hopefully, you’ll be here to support and perhaps learn from the journey. In the meantime, I’m off to bed. The mat calls early at 5:30 and I need beauty sleep.

Tweet This Post

Tags: Paradigm shift

And we’re back…

Ahhhh. It’s good to be home. Where have I been, you ask. Well , my dearies, I have been on a long and much needed vacation! No, the men with the white coats did not escort me there. Why do you ask?

I have been very happily gettig very fat in Napa Valley. Let me tell you that it is a good thing I don’t live closer to Napa. I would be bloated and broke for the rest of my life. It is that fine.

Brent and I drove from Phoenix to outside of LA the first day. End our first day journey at El Queso Grande in Reseda eating Mexican food with a very good friend and inadventantly listening to karaoke. Just how everyone expects their vacation to go right? The next day we headed up to Napa via the PCH. The whole way. Love drive. Long. Foggy. I’m sure Big Sur is nice, I couldn’t tell you for the fog. And trying to figure out which stretch is the stretch they film all the movies on is comical. “Is this it? Wait…”

We ate and drank and drank and ate and came home with the equivalent of THREE (oh my god I did just say three) CASES of wine. Three, kids. We hit a bunch of little wineries and tasting rooms and had the most fun there. If you’re going I can give you a gaggle of suggestions and tell you where to find the best buscuits and gravy you will ever consume. I wanted to bathe in that gravy. Gross thought, yes but it was that good.

In case you are irony deficient, let me give you a supplement. After coming home resembling a hog, I have gone back on the South Beach Diet. All that wine? Can’t drink it for two weeks. It’s like doing the sietary equivalent of chekcing yourself into the Betty Ford. But I feel freaking great and have stopped the..ahem…swelling.

Also, grab a hold of your hats, I am legitimately giving yoga another try. More on that later. But for now, I have to sleep as I got up at 5:30 this morning to do the said yoga. And I’m doing it again tomorrow and you can’t stop me. And no, I did not fall and hit my head on vacation…

Tweet This Post

209? Really?

I am a hoarder. I hoard.

I just looked at my paycheck. I have 209 hours of vacation time accrued. 209. There is something seriously wrong with that. Granted I have been at my job for 5 years and they give me three weeks of vacation a year. But, honestly, I have not taken a week long vacation in 8 years. It was my honeymoon. I’m now divorced, which is probably partly caused by never taking vacation time.

Yes, folks 2001. When I came to this realization I was none too pleased. I know how it happened. Got married. Husband changed careers. Husband hated taking time off because he get paid out for time he doesn’t take. I had a kid. I changed jobs. I got divorced. I had no one to vacation with. Do you feel sad for me? Don’t. It’s my fault. I could have taken time off. I culd have just taken a whole week each summer and not even gone anywhere. Just stayed home and played with my kid, but I didn’t.

I am not a model to be followed, people. I will have you know, though, that I have changed my ways! I realized that life is too short. Add to that the fact that I met a very adorable man last year and now have an adult traveling companion! Score!

In 9 short days, I will be on the road. Heading to Napa. We’re taking the long way and driving all the way up the coast of California. I have always wanted to do that. I simply cannot wait.

If you’re hoarding your vacation time, stop it. I command you. If you have more than two weeks stored up pick a damn date on the calendar and take off. Who cares if you go anywhere. Stay at home in your pajamas all day. Doesn’t matter. Work will survivie without you. They can wait. Your life can’t.

Tweet This Post

Tags: Tip of the Week

I have mad love for Sally Field.

I just watched Norma Rae. I am certain I have watched Norma Rae before but I have no idea when. Sally Field kicks ass. That’s it. That’s the list.

This movie was made 30 years ago and she was roughly my age in it. She looks great. Not totally glammed up. I don’t think she has ever been in a movie glammed up. Smokey and the Bandit anyone? She is the perfect example of growing old gracefully. I forgot who the other actress was but they both had sworn they would never get plastic surgery. And, really, the woman’s still got it. She looks freakin’ fabulous. And I hope that when I’m her age I’m still as sassy as I am now.

Tweet This Post

Tip of the Week: Choose your battles

I’m an Italian woman. I’m an Italian woman from New York who was raised by other Italians from New York. Choosing battles is not an inherent ability I’ve been graced with. Fight or flight? I ain’t movin’. Bring it. Given any opportunity, I was going to show my teeth and whoever was on the receiving end was most likely going to be wandering the word without a head until one magically grew back in its place.

This, those amusing to some, was not always a good thing. I never realized that I had earned myself the image of being hot headed and difficult. Now, I will say that mild-tempered is never going to be a word that is used to describe me. I could do 700 hours mind healing yoga and still want give someone who pissed me off a good solid ass reaming. The difference is that now I actually THINK before I do it.

I know! Thinking before speaking! Who the hell would have thought about that? It’s novel! Dare I say? Genius. And really really hard to do. I have to admit, scaring people is actually kind of fun for me. Many moons ago in a galaxy far far away, I was married. My ex-husband was frequently on the receiving end of a good solid ass reaming. Don’t judge. Most of the time he was totally asking for it. He used to try to handle a situation about which I was pissed off. It usually looked like this:

“Hi Mr. Bank of America Employee. We’re having an issue with our account and I need you to fix it. You see that nice lady over there? (Camera pans over to me waving and smiling sweetly.) That’s my wife. If you can’t help me, she’ll come over here. And you don’t want that. Trust me.”

So how did I figure out how to choose battles wisely? You ready? I stopped caring. I’m not kidding. Somewhere during the last year I ran out of give a shit. I just petered out. this does not mean that I slack off or dismiss things that are important. But, my fuse somehow got a lot longer.

I think part of it is that I am dating the most laid back man in the world. He is horrifically impatient but generally there is not a lot that bothers him. Most things just kind of roll right off his back. I think that generally makes him a happier person.

So I’ve started to take inventory of things that really matter.  Some people don’t choose their words carefully and say stupid shit. That’s really not my problem. Some people are too selfish to realize there are other people in this world. Oh well. Their loss. Life is to short to get pissy about every little thing. Save that for the big things. When someone you love is horrifically wronged. When someone’s actions could affect your livelihood. At that point, go deep and take them down. Hard.

Tweet This Post

Tags: Being bitchy, Tip of the Week

Upping the fabulous quotient

As you know, Vanessa is not feeling quite her fabulous self. Work is totally stressing her out causing her to stress eat. The chocolate is way too accessible. She is also extremely tired these days. Even more concerning is that she seems to be talking about herself in third person ala LeBron James.

I think it might also be the weather. It is too damn hot to do anything but lay down with a cool fan blowing over you. I would suggest and prefer Gerard Butler fanning me with a palm frawn but I simply don’t seem to have one of those handy. Such a shame.

I am feeling like I need to up my fabulous quotient. I’m not very pleased with the state of things right now. It’s like I’m on the front end of a solid rut. Not good. It just means focusing less on work after hours and more on me. Being fabulous. I think one of the best ways to ward off a funk is to head it off at the pass. When things start to get hairy, we have a tendency to get a little mired down it, don’t we? Before you know it, we have totally let ourselves go.

Tonight, I staged an intervention on myself. I know, the dialogue with myself was a killer. Immediate action was necessary. I have been woefully neglecting myself. I can’t even tell you the last time I had a pedicure. I don’t even mean the salon kind. I mean the take-10-minutes-and-change-the-polish-on-your-damn-toes kind of pedicure. This is now way to live. Tonight, I got the kidlet in bed and set off to re-fabulousize…re-flablize…re-…whatever.

Stage 1 of the intervention included indulging in facial goop. Oh yes folks, I did the peel of mask. Fun on many accounts. I get nice clean pores and a chance to do a mean Hannibal Lecter impression. Score.

Stage 2 was the painting of the nails. If I hadn’t left my memory card for my camera in my laptop at work, I would take a picture to show you how cute my feet are. No kidding. I gave them the full pedicure including freaking sandblasting them. They are that wonderful and all dolled up in It’s a Doozi Says Suzi.

Have I mentioned that all of this went down while watching An American in Paris? Why? Because I like a Gershwin tune. How about you? And, oh my, was Gene Kelly perfection. I love him more than about 729,105 other things.

Here’s the best part. I’m going to bed early and, gulp, reading a book. I’ll be choosing one of two books that you must run out and buy immediately. If you do not have Simon Doonan’s Eccentric Glamour in your library, what are you doing with your time? Reading blogs? Go get it, now. Follow it up by purchasing The Bombshell Manual of Style by Laren Stover. Trust me. I would not lead you astray. They are guidebooks in feeling fabulous.

You’ll have to excuse me now. I have a date with a really cozy, fluffy bed.

Oh, for the dudes that may be reading this blog – If you’re in a funk, Football starts on Sunday. Hall of Fame Game. Wait it out, tough guys. Wait it out…

Tweet This Post

Tags: Puling out of a rut

Break the wrist, walk away. Break the wrist, walk away.

This week is turning out to be a real crap fest. Epically crappy. This is the kind of week that makes us want to crawl into whatever space it is that we retreat to and go into what I call turtle mode. “No one here! Just this hard shell! Gave at the office! Thanks! No hablo!”

Of course, the turtle shell is a total cop out. I just need a minute to breathe. I’ve learned to figure that much out. We have a tendency to over complicate being happy. We try to hard. I have a girlfriend and it is nearly painful to watch her continually search and search. Sadly, she keeps looking in all the wrong places and we just have to wait it out until she sees it.

We know how to be happy. We know what to do when the enormo crap fest is bestowed upon us by someone (or a group of someones) who have no concern about dropping that skippy little load on us. The problem is that we forget. Like we forget where we put our cars keys or why walked in a room. It’s that easy. “What did I need to get at the store” is no more complicated than “How the hell do a get stop from getting in full on funk mode?”

We all have little things that can snap up back to reality. I call it the “Your Life Does Not Suck List.” No, really. This should be your tool kit. Use it like that trusty friend that you can call and say, “Come over. My day sucked. Bring vodka.” And boom! There they are. Awesome.

Get started on yours. Write down every thing that snaps you back. List things you can go to quickly and get a fix of that quick sigh and exhale of breathe that makes you feel everything is juuuuuust fine. What can you do for yourself that brings the scales back into balance?

For me, all it might take is to spend 30 minutes with a play list that I made for my iPod that is about 10 songs that define my life. You know, because we forget what our lives are about. I can just sit on my couch with nothing else going on and listen. Huge advocate of giving yourself 30 minutes. Every song starts with me saying some kind of “Ohhhhh.” Really, like I hadn’t heard the song in years.

Sometimes I have to keep goingdown the line. I may need to allow myself time to  sit on the patio with a book. I may need to go mill around a nursery checking out plants and flowers and making some plans for the next great backyard adventure.

What works for you? What’s on your list?

Tweet This Post

I must tell you how I love some people.

Did I ever tell you you’re my hero? And everything I wish I could be?

I am doing some updating and need to add to my blogroll as I have found way too many cool blogs out there. I’m a viral reader. Sounds nasty, huh? It’s not curable. I just read one blog and click on another link and read that blog then click on another link. Honestly, I have no idea how I found most of these people, but I am damn glad they did. I do so love them. In keeping with my bossy nature, you must love them too. No, really. If you don’t, I’ll show up at your house. I can do that. I’m resourceful. I may even bring them with me. I can do that. I’m also very persuasive. Get to loving these people: Read more…

Tweet This Post